Have you ever been vamped up, on the verge of doing something really good for yourself to then be faced with resistance?
You know, it starts out as that familiar queasy feeling that you try to ignore, but it somehow intensifies and works its way up the throat causing you to clench your whole body.
The more you fight back, the worsening the tight feeling becomes and you begin to second guess the benefits of doing whatever it was in the first place.
Because you figure, if you feel this terrible about the thought of doing something good for yourself, then it must not be the best thing for you…..the time isn’t right....you must not be ready……blah, blah, blah…..
I’ve sulked in that icky state of resistance and it is incredibly frustrating! Usually I put on my game face and as Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art and warrior of resistance tackles it, I “sit my a@# down and do it.” Or as I like to say, I give it a swift kick and then run like hell!
But, sometimes the stakes are so high – the level of potential growth so great, that the quiet nagging turns into a belligerent aggravating yell. That’s when I am forced to dig deeper and turn to something less violent.
Mentor Raphael Cushnir, a leading voice in the world of emotional connection, says resistance is like stepping on a hose with all our might and commanding the water to flow. But if we can simply step off the hose and allow the water of our reactions to flow through us, we eventually arrive at a state of expansion. While on the surface this may seem passive, it's anything but. In an expanded state, we're freer, more creative, and better able to break through barriers.
Raphael’s technique is called Living the Questions. The first step in the process is to become aware of the heart of the resistance followed by the decision of whether we even want to let go. If we do, there are only two questions to ask.
- What is happening right now? In asking, we pay specific attention to the sensations in our bodies and any emotions associated with them. Instead of looking for an answer, we just allow what's there to make itself known.
- Can I be with it? To be with what's happening means embracing whatever we find with no agenda whatsoever.
The tricky, but rewarding part is with the response to question, “Can I be with it?” So often we want to react or shut it off and give in because it is uncomfortable. However the enlightenment comes when the resistance is acknowledged and freed.
How do you deal with resistance? Share your voice & comment below.
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