Connection is as essential to us mamas as it is to our daughters.
We all crave those close moments with our children that melt our hearts.
When our relationship is strong, it's also sweet, so we receive as much as we give. That's what makes parenting worth all the sacrifices.
But there is something that gets in the way of that.
And it’s called Anger.
Leading up to the birth of my daughter, with the help of Harriet Lerner, I realized I held on to a lot of anger. I didn’t show it. Ask anyone around me. No one would have ever said I was an angry person. I was quite the opposite. Happy and positive…..or what Harriet calls the ‘nice lady’ the person who attempts to avoid anger and conflict at all costs.
The other category of women - the ‘bitch’ category is where we get angry with ease but it’s met with ineffective fighting, complaining, and blaming.
Whichever category one fits into, the pervasive taboo of expressing our emotions, especially anger is so strong that just knowing we are angry has not even been an option for us.
The mother daughter relationship is one of the most influential in a girl’s life and also one of the most difficult. When we learn to be more connected, to ourselves, to our full spectrum of emotions, including anger, the more connected, the more in the flow we can be with our girls. Which ultimately leads to an empowered generation of girls who replicate this flow in other relationships in their lives.