by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.
She has a tendency to cling. Makes it hard not to be annoyed by her.
She is embarrassingly quiet. Cowers in groups. Prefers playing at home, alone.
She is a well of pure joy, a naturally gifted optimist.
She is generous, able to give without a second thought.
She is fragile, young, and innocent to the nuances of social do’s & don’ts.
She is scared, unsure, instantly overwhelmed.
Girls are where they are – despite our desire for them to be further along, more mature, more relaxed, closer to our perfection, less bossy, more relatable, easier to understand, or simply more like us.
If you stop asking the question, “Why can’t she be more….______(fill in the blank) – you can meet her where she is. You can meet her in the real moment. You can meet her in her tribulation or her brilliance.
And when you truly see her, with no wishing for her to be different to break the connection apart, you’ll know what to do. You will have the compassion to be loving, the patience to withstand, or the wisdom to say nothing.
The question becomes, how would you treat “contempt,” or “anger,” or “amazement”?
Not how would you help (or appease, or argue with) someone to be less hurt, or more happy, or more of a social butterfly.
She is where she is. Consider the situation, let go of the fear of judgement. Remove the pull of wanting to change her. And truly see. It’s the only way growth happens.