Raising A Girl Made Easy - Gutsy Girl Club

Thaaat sucks.

by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.

Thaaaat sucks. Or more age appropriately, that stinks like hot sweaty socks.

It’s that moment when she’s unexpectedly unloads her troubles or completely melts down. 

That uncomfortable wooziness fills your belly... even though two seconds earlier she was all smiles and giggles. 

Friendship tiffs, broken promises and behind the back whisperings – untold stories of her day being held at bay, now surface with a vengeance.

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Even for our young girls we don’t always know the right thing to say or best way to respond. Often times our knee jerk reaction is to quickly jump in with a “it’s not that bad” or even worse, a solution to seamlessly fix the problem.  When really, all we need to do is name it:

That stinks.

This approach works for the worst offenses she’s endured to minor escalades, and altogether bad days.  

It says, “I see you. I see your pain.”

It’s a win-win.

It soothes heartbreak. It can create deep connection.

It’s effective with the youngest of girls to the oldest of girls.

Everyone feels understood.

I learned this from my friend Ann, a super-insightful mountain girl & social worker. And, even though she’s full of bright ideas and solutions, she has the acumen to simply pause and say, That sucks.

It gives room to breath.
It invites a strengthening of the heart.
It builds everyone up.

 

 

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The problem with perfectionism (and when to step down from the pedestal)

by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.

Something happens when a woman becomes a mom.

From the moment those big glossy eyes look up, she sees a Super Hero. 

The Super Hero that is her everything – her ray of light in darkness, her spotlight in times of glory.

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When she quietly nestles her head into your shoulder, Super Hero Mom holds on tight. Her arms, like the wings of a giant bird give her an escape from the wild winds, relentless protection and comfort. 

She assumes you are the strongest human alive with super hero powers. You’re the one who pulls together birthday parties and holiday gatherings and somehow, manages to generally fall apart less than everyone else. You work hard coordinating after school activities, playdates, dentist appointments. You’re the obliging carpool escort, and biggest fan on the bleachers, and the best cook around. 

It’s all incredibly admirable. Our girls need to see a woman’s strength.  When she cries for help, a girl has a rock to lean on. When a mom creates a safe space, a little girl knows where to run to seek shelter from the storm.

However, when she never sees Super Hero falter, it undermines her own truth.  The truth that shows her vulnerability, her imperfection, her humanism.  

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
Brené Brown

I don’t know a single successful mother who isn’t juggling the ups and downs, the tugs and pulls, the emotional rollercoaster of the every day.  Who sometimes gets it wrong – the nature of real life.

In her TedX Talk, Brene Brown explains how to expand our perception of vulnerability. When Brene found her way to embrace the messiness of life, she was able to love it and share this reality of life with her own daughter.  This wasn’t always easy for her. It meant she needed to start from the beginning with her connection. She says feeling connected is why we’re here. And in order for us to feel connection we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen. 

This courage to be imperfect and to fully embrace vulnerability, is what makes us real, what makes us human. Life is not about being perfect, living perfect, doing everything perfectly. We can take much value from the science and wisdom of the courage to be vulnerable when we take a step down from the pedestal.

 

GRAB YOUR FREE COPY OF THE CONFIDENT GIRL GUIDE ROADMAP

If you want to learn more about how to grow a girl's confidence like a mama boss, download your FREE copy of the Confident Girl Guide Roadmap.

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Aaand, remember to sign up for my FREE Facebook group.

One more thing, if you want to hang out with me and other online mama bosses, make sure to click here to join my FREE private Facebook group.

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You, sweet girl, YOU.

by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.

The car door slammed shut. Her head bowed. I turned the key, we started to make our way home. Tears began to tumble down gently off your cheek as you buckled the seatbelt — a pang of worry echoed in my belly. I said, “Honey, what’s going on?” But you couldn’t speak. Quietly, you sobbed beside me.  I held out my hand – you reached for it and held on tight.

When you cry, I feel your pain.
I know how hard you try.
You put on your brave, all the while your tender heart, fragile.
 
You’re a damn good friend. There isn’t a measuring stick in the universe that can describe how much I admire you for that.

When that new girl came to school, you invited her to sit with you at lunch among your friends because “there’s plenty of room for everyone at the table, mom.”  And that weekend, you asked her over to our house.
You told that other girl at recess “It’s not nice” on Amber’s behalf. You were so proud of yourself. You’re brave like that. 

You called Samantha up when she you learned her dog died even though calling someone up to talk on the phone isn’t your favorite thing to do.

“If there is way to help a friend, I'd do it,” you declared to me. “That's how much my friends mean to me.” Unabashedly, your actions speak stronger than your words.

You broke silence for others.
You took a brave stand against injustice.
You went the extra mile. 

You accept your friends for who they are.

You readily give away the bigger slice of cake.

You always find a way to make someone else feel special.

You don’t “claim” others – you introduce new friends to old and encourage everyone to hang out together.  
 
You strive to bring out the best in others.



And for this I admire you sweet girl, yes YOU.

Biggest Mom Hug & XXs,

You're Mama
 
Tweet + Facebook for all the girls you admire:

For all the sweet girls out there. I admire the brave things you do. via@GutsyGirlClub.

You sweet girl, YOU. @GutsyGirlClub so gets it. Brave girls are EVERYTHING.

 

GRAB YOUR FREE COPY OF THE CONFIDENT GIRL GUIDE ROADMAP

If you want to learn more about how to grow a girl's confidence like a mama boss, download your FREE copy of the Confident Girl Parent Roadmap.

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Aaand, remember to sign up for my FREE Facebook group.

One more thing, if you want to hang out with me and other online mama bosses, make sure to click here to join my FREE private Facebook group.

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Do you know your WHY?

by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.

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German philosopher Frederick Nietzsche once said, ‘He who has a why can endure any how.’

Knowing your why is an important first step in figuring out how to raise a girl with confidence and know how to get through life's toughest challenges while walking the path that brings her the most joy. 

Indeed, only when you know your ‘why’ will you find the courage to take the risks needed to give her what she needs, stay focused when the going gets tough, and move your relationship into an entirely new, more fulfilling, more connected, and more rewarding trajectory.
 

Certainly this has been my experience in leading the Gutsy Girl Club, which now reaches women and girls across the nation and overseas.  My passion for bringing empowerment to more women and girls has been the driving force for me over the last 23 years.”

It started when I took my first women's study course in college, has been at the core of how I raise my two girls, and it is central to the inner workings of the Gutsy Girl Club organization.  
 

While there’s no one pathway for raising self-confident girls, there are many ways you can gain deeper insight into yourself, and your larger perspective on what it is that you desire for the girls in your world.

So tell me, what's your WHY? Why are you here? Why are you a part of the Gutsy Girl Club? What are you desiring?

Email me at heather@gutsygirlclub.com and let me know. I promise to respond to you.

XO,

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