The Biggest Mental Shift That Will Change Your Relationship (and Ultimately Build Her Confidence)

Connection is as essential to us mamas as it is to our daughters.

We all crave those close moments with our children that melt our hearts.

When our relationship is strong, it's also sweet, so we receive as much as we give. That's what makes parenting worth all the sacrifices.

But there is something that gets in the way of that.

And it’s called Anger.

Leading up to the birth of my daughter, with the help of Harriet Lerner, I realized I held on to a lot of anger. I didn’t show it. Ask anyone around me. No one would have ever said I was an angry person. I was quite the opposite. Happy and positive…..or what Harriet calls the ‘nice lady’ the person who attempts to avoid anger and conflict at all costs.

The other category of women - the ‘bitch’ category is where we get angry with ease but it’s met with ineffective fighting, complaining, and blaming.

Whichever category one fits into, the pervasive taboo of expressing our emotions, especially anger is so strong that just knowing we are angry has not even been an option for us.

The mother daughter relationship is one of the most influential in a girl’s life and also one of the most difficult. When we learn to be more connected, to ourselves, to our full spectrum of emotions, including anger, the more connected, the more in the flow we can be with our girls. Which ultimately leads to an empowered generation of girls who replicate this flow in other relationships in their lives.

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It's International Women’s Day!

Join us in celebrating!

The Gutsy Girl Club is aiming to extend our impact by supporting a woman making a difference in her community. We’re partnering with KIVA, who like the Gutsy Girl Club envisions a world where all people hold the power to create opportunity for themselves and others.

Below are just 3 amazing women with 3 aspiring dreams looking for financial support through Kiva, a microlender working to alleviate poverty. Who would you like to support? Cast your vote in the comments below!

Meet Florinda & Friends


The 10 Maya K'iche'-speaking women who formed the Friendship Bridge Trust Bank "Xecruz" in a rural area of Totonicapán, Guatemala, are pleased to be starting their first loan with Kiva. The women have a variety of small businesses selling bulk items for convenience stores, running shoe shops, or raising animals. They will invest the new loan capital to build their businesses.

A member of the group is 25-year-old Florinda who is married with an eight-month-old daughter. She has a fourth grade education. In order to create a better future for herself and her family, Florinda manages a small convenience store and plans to use her loan to buy milk, cereal, oil and rice in bulk.

Each month, Florinda will attend Trust Bank meetings to make payments on her loan and then participate in non-formal educational lessons that are a part of the "Microcredit Plus" program of small loans, education and health. A facilitator helps them build good skills in business, family, health and women's issues, so that they can become empowered to create pathways out of poverty.

According to Kiva staffer Kate, "This loan is special because: Florinda and her friends will receive in-depth trainings on business, health, over-indebtedness, and self-esteem."

Meet Maribel


Maribel is an enterprising woman and single mother who fights for a better future. She only reached the final year of high school and dreams of finishing her schooling. Maribel has a business selling fried foods. Previously, she sold second-hand clothing but when she saw that the sales were declining she changed to an alternative.

Her reason for taking this loan is to stock her business with fish, chicken, sweet potatoes, green bananas etc. to maintain her clientele.

Maribel lives in Boca Chica, the area of Santo Domingo, Dominican Republic. The economy of this town is generally based on fishing, informal commerce and services generated by the tourism sector. Maribel has a goal to improve her business by getting her own transport which would allow her better access to the merchandise that she has to buy from far away, and with this she will achieve her dream of making her own home.

According to Kiva staffer, Wesley "This loan is special because: It includes access to healthcare services and business and vocational training."

Meet Ana


Ana is married and lives with her family, made up of her partner and her three children. She works in agricultural jobs, which are quite diverse as she grew up in an area where the residents raise cattle and pigs. They also grow staple grains.

Ana started her business several years ago. Her strength is growing staple grains and raising cattle

She will use the loan to buy agricultural supplies to care for her crops of staple grains. She will also use part of the money to pay the salaries of the workers she employs who prepare the land she farms.

Her goal is to increase her economic activity in order to generate more resources so that she can comply with her familial and financial obligations. Ana hopes to pay off her loan in the stipulated time, improve her harvests, and have economic stability.

According to Kiva staffer Karen, "This loan is special because: It empowers women in El Salvador."

Which of these 3 amazing women would you like to support?  Cast your vote in the comments below!

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The 7 Confidence Habits Every Girl Needs

by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.

No one tells you being a mom is going to be so hard....that from the moment your child is born, life shifts.

That along with the endless number of diaper changes, days of walking around in a sleepless fog, and brainless house chores also comes a shift in priority, a shift in one's personal award system. 

Exhaustion and overwhelm enter as a daily reminder that your life is now largely controlled by your little one. 

And as your little one grows, so does the demand for letting go. Her first steps with you by her side will one day turn into her stepping out the door and living life on her own.

And the hardest part?  There's no manual. 

"How do I know she won't get left out on the playground?"

"How will I know if she's being treated unkindly by a friend?"

"How will I know if she's safe when I'm not with her?"

So, yeah - raising a daughter is hard. It's not easy. But did you know - there is a way to make it easier?

There is a way to feel that 'she's got this' feeling when she steps out into the world on her own.     


When the day comes, let there be an explosion of fireworks that light up the sky in celebration of all you've done, for all she has become. Let the entire world jump for joy as she steps into her own journey - the journey she was always meant to be on.

Hold on dear one.

We're here to help make this whole mothering thing a whole lot easier (oh, and more fun!)




p.s. Want to give your girl the chance to be her best? CLICK HERE, Join the club.


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Parents Speak Out: What I Wish I'd Known Before Having a Daughter


by Heather Freeman, click here to get all our posts.


Do you remember the enthusiasm you felt upon that initial spark: “Hey! We’re having a baby!” What would you say to yourself now, these many moons later? Would you warn yourself off, or encourage yourself forward? We at the Gutsy Girl Club wanted to know, and we bet you do too. So we asked parents of girls from across the country one simple question: What’s the one thing you wish you’d known before you had your daughter? Oh boy, did you all deliver with the advice! From the cynical to the hilarious, you shared tremendously practical insights for aspiring moms and dads (or those that may want some reminders). This is precisely the type of knowledge we here at the Gutsy Girl Club aspire to curate and share in our quest to offer the ultimate girl power resource for the entire parent of girls community. The advice starts with can’t miss parenting fundamentals.

Sign up to receive the Raising A Girl Made Easy Newsletter and we’ll throw in our free guide: 5 Things To Tell Yourself When You Have Nothing Left In The Tank.

Here’s what we heard.

Becoming A Parent

"Making the decision to have a child - it is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ”


"Mommy brain. You won’t remember a thing, don’t worry it happens to all of us."





“You are the right parent for your kids, whoever you naturally are, and they are the right kids for you. If someone constantly needs to compete, it says more about them than it does about you.”

- Submitted by Laura Sanford (Buzzfeed)


A Girl's Identity

"She may be way girlier than you are.

Even if you've done your best to create a gender-neutral play space stocked with trucks, trains and all sorts of "boy" toys, she may develop a passion for princesses and Barbies and pretty pink ballerina gear out of the ether. Some girls just naturally flock to the girly stuff. “Samantha is my girly child. She loves to carry a purse, wear jewelry, and lip gloss is her favorite thing in the world. She asked me at age 4 if I could buy her high heels and a bra,” says mom of three Kelly G. Phillips.


"Telling them they're beautiful is not enough. I want to tell them this all the time. Because they are. But when I do, I feel like I also have to say a whole host of other things — you're kind, thoughtful, smart, creative, funny — so they don't ever think it's just about being beautiful.

You can't help but see yourself in your daughters. Despite the fact that my girls are these dynamic, smart, beautiful creatures (see above), I can't help but see in them the things that drive me most crazy about myself — namely, my need for approval and deep fear of criticism. And because of this, I am working on being kinder and more forgiving — to them and myself. Also, my thighs. I admit it, I worry they will inherit my thighs. And then I feel bad for even thinking that.

You will always be the most important role model. My girls' library is filled with books about amazing women from history. We talk regularly about Hillary Clinton, the upcoming election, and the possibility of a female president. I point out trailblazing women in the news, and most recently, we celebrated the women's U.S. soccer team with an almost frenzied excitement. But at the end of the day, the woman they look up to most is me — their mom. They talk like me, walk like me, and turn to me to answer any and all questions they have about the world. If I am being honest, I am overwhelmed by this responsibility. I know I am going to make mistakes along the way. Big, bad mistakes. I am certain they will hate me for these transgressions at some point or at many points. But something I didn't know until they were born is that one day, if they are lucky enough to have daughters of their own, much of their frustration with me will disappear — as it did for me with my own mom. Being a mother helps you understand your mother."





The Day to Day: Girl Life

"The social terrain gets rough early.

My daughter is in second grade and experiencing social strife — namely, her beloved BFF wants some space and broke up with her in a note," Chicago mother of two Christie O. Tate (no relation) told TODAY Parents. "It's a heartbreaking situation for my kid, but every time I talk about it with other mothers, we revert to the single available narrative: how mean girls are. I didn't realize it was our ONLY explanation for the complex social navigation our daughters do in these young years."

Though girls can be mean to each other, that doesn't always make them "mean girls," Tate said. "The other girl isn't a mean girl — she's trying to get some space. We need more narratives for the great emotional and social work our girls are doing."


"Treat Yourself: You are allowed to take a break once in a while even if it’s for just 30 minutes. Go take a nice long shower, eat your meal in one sitting or get a manicure/pedicure that you so badly need. If the mommy is happy, everyone is happy.
This could be an endless list and I could do add 100 more things I wish I knew. But it’s a joyous journey discovering new things too and it’s absolutely fine to be surprised by your motherhood experiences."


Trupti Gupe Ram



The Parenting Journey

"There will be moments when you feel like you have let yourself or your children down. Nobody is the perfect parent, nobody gets it right 100% of the time."

- Submitted by Nellie Gillis (Buzzfeed)


“Don't be afraid to reach out for help, you’re not alone.”

- Submitted by Jenn Theriault (Buzzfeed)


"You need good people around you.

You do not know everything about parenting, but thankfully, asking questions and getting help is not a crime. Perhaps, some of your relationships will drift apart as you have a new lifestyle, but remember that it is about quality, not quantity. Make sure to surround yourself with people that will encourage and supports your current season. It could be your own parents, siblings, relatives, friends or an older couple you look up to.

As you ask for help and questions, see to it that you are not looking for it in the wrong places. Listen to their guidance, but be a filter of these pieces of advice and not a sponge."


Casey Bunn mom & creator of Handsocks


Forever Changed

"No matter how exhausted you are, or how desperately you need a little time to yourself, there is no other job in the world as awesome and rewarding as being a mom."





"You Will Never Be the Same. Parenting changes you. I expected this, but I didn’t expect just how radically it would. It’s not like you turn into your mom or dad overnight, but your values, perspective, and habits get realigned to one single creature: your child (or your children, if you have more than one)."


What you say?


What in this round-up resonates with you? Did we miss an important warning to future parents of girls? Please share in the comments! We’d also love to read your response to the all-important question: What’s the one thing you wish you’d known before having a daughter? If you haven’t welcomed your daughter yet, what’s the biggest question in your mind before getting started? We so appreciate your continued input on this important topic because it helps to shape the future of the Gutsy Girl Club content. We’re here to serve your interests; we’re building this resource together. We look forward to connecting with you in the comments below!


Raising a Girl Made Easy, Click here to get all our posts.

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