Have you ever had one of those days? You know, when everything starts out swell only to be swept off course by something unexpected.
It’s the start of another week. I'm feeling settled back into the grind. Girls are in school after a well spent weekend, lunches got packed, kids were driven to school, and I’m back home to work. It’s looking like there’s just enough time to jump on that webinar. …… even without breakfast for myself. But I think I can survive on that first cup of coffee for a while.
‘BBBZZzzzz’ My phone rattles. Interruption #1. If I’m lucky it will be the only one for today. I pick up the call – it’s from my youngest daughter. Her little voice trembles as she tells me how she forgot her teddy. She's in tears. She tells me she won't be able to get through the day without him. After a 40 minute carpool around town, I had just pulled into the driveway. My mind had just finished the task of aligning my list of to-do's for the morning. Sure enough as I craned my head to check out the back seat, there sat Teddy. All crumpled up and slouched over. Looking awfully sad he wasn't with his best little girl.
The fire in my belly grew. I took a deep breath shifted into reverse and began the descent back into town to deliver Teddy.
Behind the driving wheel, I’m exhausted. Tired already, and it wasn't even noon (and stressed from all I didn’t get to yet). The day ticking away like a time bomb. I feel run down all over.
As I grasp the wheel, I take a deep breath in.
And gently remind myself – You are stronger than you think.
You can handle this. You can be the container for her sadness, grief, frustration. She needs you to be there for her. She needs you to help center her storm.
Digging deep – it’s something we do as mothers on a regular basis. Our girls need us – they need us to be there, to listen, to give them a hand, to pull them out, to go with them into the trenches. So let today be a reminder, that you Got This Girl! You are stronger than you think!
And if you need a helping hand to push through the exhaustion and frustration. Well, I'm here to help ya and the place to start is with your mindset. Following are 5 Mindset Shifts to get you out of crazyville and into the flow of your day.....
MINDSET 1: IT’S HARD AND I'M OK.
It's not easy to admit when the pressure is to have it all figured out or to get it right is all around us. But let's admit it. Raising a girl is hard. Maybe it feels awkward or embarrassing to say this, but I mean, while you might feel responsible for having it all figured out, it’s impossible. We can’t be expected or expect from ourselves to do right by our girls all the time. We’re human and we’re imperfect.
Admitting it’s hard is the first step to regaining a center of gravity.
MINDSET 2: I'M AT PEACE
Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass, it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
Learn to trust yourself. Focus on the moment and let go of that which you have no control over. Ease up on expectations – life is set to move on it’s own course and sometimes it takes you in an unplanned direction. Take a deep breath and accept things as they are so you can regain a sense of peace.
MINDSET 3: I AM LOVE
A.K.A. BE KIND - TO YOURSELF
Self-talk can have a great effect on how you feel. It can be positive or negative and will build you up or tear you down. Developing positive self-talk can be as simple as listening to what you tell yourself each day.
Stop. Right now. Yes. And think....
What do you tell yourself?
Take a moment, pick up a pen & write it down. Then, forgive yourself. Yes, actually forgive yourself.
Here's something straight out of my journal: "I can't believe I have to drop everything and race back downtown right now. I'm so pissed. Why didn't I think to check in with Hiedi? I'm such a scatter brain. I'm so lame. Why can't I keep it all together? OK, Heather. So you're not perfect. That's what I love about you. So you have to reorganize your day a bit, but you are really good at thinking on your feet and figuring stuff like this out. I forgive you for not getting it right ALL the time."
Then write down 3-5 kind sentiments.
Again, here's what I wrote:
"Your kids are gonna know without a doubt how much you love them...how much you care for them. Today's challenge has taught you how to stretch, how to be more flexible. And you know what, Heather - no matter how crazy life gets - You got this."
Maybe it's a little corny - to be having a conversation with myself. But this is how I get it done. Otherwise, all the negative, push you down in the dirt thoughts float around in my head all day long and it never ends. Leaving me exhausted and plain old pooped out. When I show myself a little bit of kindness, the same as I would do for a dear friend, then life gets better, more enjoyable and I can more quickly get back into my flow.
MINDSET 4: “I AM STRONGER THAN I THINK”
Reminding yourself that you can do it is key to taking your positive-talk to a higher level. You’ve risen above many times in your life. Use these times to remind yourself that you can do it again.
Grab a pen. List times in your life you’ve dug deep to rise above and go farther than you’ve ever gone before.
You know you've done it.
Simply remind yourself.
MINDSET 5: I AM WORTHY
As a caregiver, it’s important to pay attention to your needs and recharge your batteries, especially in moments of stress. Give yourself permission to take care of yourself so that you can be available and present for her when she needs you. Even simply giving yourself a mental hug and telling yourself, “I know this is hard right now, and it’s only natural to feel stressed. I’m here for you” can be a quick self-compassion break that you need to keep your heart open as you care for her.
Now, it’s time to go – to be there for her.
Talk with her. And remind your girl She’s Got This, too.
GRAB YOUR FREE COPY OF THE CONFIDENT GIRL GUIDE ROADMAP
If you want to learn more about how to grow a girl's confidence like a mama boss, download your FREE copy of the Confident Girl Guide Roadmap.
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