Jumpstart Her Confidence - Lesson 5
Yesterday I taught you how you can use the Conversation Hack to get the talking rolling and strengthen your connection as a result.
Quick review of that strategy…
Step 1: Make a list of 5 topics or ideas that you daughter is interested in (related to her strengths).
Step 2: Write a short story documenting one small fact that fascinates you about her interest with each topic.
Step 3: Talk with your girl and tell her about your insights!
Today I thought I’d send you a few studies backing up the importance of the mother daughter conversation to help you along…
Example #1: Suzanne Degges-White, PhD, author of Mothers and Daughters: Living, Loving, and Learning Over a Lifetime says "The mother-daughter relationship is important in a multitude of ways." "Essentially, it's a female's first experience of an intimate relationship, and through this relationship we learn about trust, about separation and connection, about putting another's needs ahead of our own, and about who we are as individuals."
Could you do this with your daughter?
Example #2: Deborah Tannen is University Professor and Professor of Linguistics at Georgetown University and author of many books and articles about how the language of everyday conversation affects relationships. She helps mothers and daughters understand each other – the key to improving their relationship.
Tannen is quoted as saying “We often end up playing out previous hurtful conversations with our mothers. The key is to break out of this pattern…listen to the ways we talk to each other and learn to talk to each other in new ways.”
Now it’s time to take action.
Take the next 5 minutes to brainstorm out a list of 5 topics, activities, and songs that your daughter loves.
Then write a short note describing what you noticed when she immersed herself in these.
Lastly, have a conversation with your girl, telling her what you noticed when was interacting with the topic or doing the activity. (Note: For the exact conversation template you can use to do this, refer back to Lesson #4.)
Set a timer for 5 minutes.
Whether you are just starting out or are a little further along, the conversation hack is a great way to get the talking rolling and strengthen your connection as a result.
Of course, there is a lot more to growing her confidence than just this one strategy.
Once you’ve used the conversational hack, there are still questions like:
- How do I keep the conversations happening?
- How do I get her to come to me when she has something heavy on her mind?
- How do I actually respond in a way that she hears me?
The next lesson will help you. I’ll be answering several popular questions about how to get the conversation started if you’re just starting out, what tools you should be using and how to actually make connection from her confidence.
If you’ve already grabbed the She’s Got This Interactive Guide, you’ll want to revisit Chapter 1, “The Foundation” and Chapter 2, “Giving Her Confidence a Boost” to immediately access this training.
Here's a recap of our training so far:
Lesson 1 - The very first step to building her confidence
Lesson 2 - How to know the exact moment she’s ready to step out into the world on her own
Lesson 3 - Behind the scenes of a rockin’ mother-daughter relationship
Lesson 4 - How to get the conversation rolling
Lesson 5 - Two examples of how to use the Conversational Hack strategy
Lesson 6 - The exact conversation starters you need to use to jump-start her confidence growth