Jumpstart Her Confidence - Lesson 3
Everyone say “Heyyyyyy Jane!”
Last spring, Jane had an idea.
She wanted to give her daughter a boost in confidence.
Being a Gutsy Girl Club member, she followed the exact process we’ve laid out over the past few weeks. She started having conversations, spending time with her daughter and doing high-impact activities with her.
After a few months of tweaking her approach, she then began bringing her daughter’s friends together to build their confidence, too. But she eventually hit
She got stuck and couldn’t figure out how to have meaningful conversations.
Then over the summer, she decided to change her approach completely. Instead of holding conversations using a script, she decided to start conversations off the cuff and speaking from the heart.
Guess what happened next?
She got past The Wall!
Over the next few months, her impact went from ‘What are you talking about’ to ‘Yeah, this totally makes sense.’
All from doing one thing…
Now any time Jane starts up a new conversation, plans for mother-daughter adventure, or just wants to get her daughter to the table for some mom-and-me time, all she has to do is have a conversation.
No crazy questions.
Just a conversation.
That is the power of creating connection.
So how do you start creating connection?
Want to her to have more say over how others are treated (instead of sitting on the sidelines while someone else gets bullied)?
Build her confidence.
Building her confidence is straightforward. You need two key ingredients:
Thing #1: Connection (your daughter sees you as someone to turn to)
Thing #2: Conversations (experiences your daughter has will be shared with you)
Here is the rub…
Most confidence-building advice focuses on
Tips that don't work for your child's special traits
That kind of thing.
But when you are just starting out, all of that stuff is a waste of time because you’re missing one of the key ingredients: CONNECTION.
That’s why when I see blog posts like “How I Got My Daughter to Tell Me About Everything,” I cringe. Because they are ALWAYS written by people who have a crazy strong connection.
OF COURSE all they have to do is ask a basic question and their daughter will become an instant chatter box.
You want to talk?
What about everyone else?
When you try to mimic these same basic strategies, your results pale in comparison and you get discouraged.
You want to talk?
You don’t have connection with your daughter!
So, I’m going to give one strategy you can use today to fix that problem.
I call it the conversational hack.
In the very early days of the Gutsy Girl Club I used this strategy to get a room full of girls (who didn’t know me or each other) to talk about themselves.
And the best part?
I had never led a girl’s group before.
I had no credibility.
I was a complete nobody.
But I used this strategy to turn that opportunity into an afternoon of fun.
And it’s so simple that YOU can do the same thing by the end of this weekend.
Tomorrow I'm going to give you step-by-step instructions.
Today I want you to prep by answering these three questions:
Question 1: What 5 topics or ideas is your girl interested in?
Question 2: What are her top 5 favorite songs?
Question 3: What are her 5 most favorite things to do?
Don’t over-think this step.
Set your timer for 10 minutes and GO.
See you tomorrow.
In the next lesson, you'll use the research you do today and learn how to leverage conversation of other interests of hers and get her to tell you about them. If you've already grabbed the She’s Got This Interactive Guide, you'll want to revisit the guide chapters "Doubling the conversation rate about the most important girl topics" (Chapter 2 Lesson 10) and "How to create her unstoppable mindset" (Chapter 2 Lesson 11). This will give you a jump start on Lesson #4 & 5.
Here's a recap of the class so far:
Lesson 1 - The very first step to building her confidence
Lesson 2 - How to know the exact moment she’s ready to step out into the world on her own
Lesson 3 - Behind the scenes of a rockin’ mother-daughter relationship
Lesson 4 - How to get the conversation rolling
Lesson 5 - Two examples of how to use the Conversational Hack strategy
Lesson 6 - The exact conversation starters you need to use to jump-start her confidence growth