This is the first lesson of the Jumpstart Her Confidence class.
A few things before we jump in…
For the next few days you’ll be getting a series of lessons from me. The goal of this class is to help you kickstart her confidence by giving you 6 lessons that will help you rapidly boost her confidence.
Throughout this class I’m going to share with you the exact framework that all of my clients go through when they hire me to build a girl’s confidence.
These are people like CT mom Rachel, Colorado mom Anna and California mom Ashley.
But a few housekeeping things first...
- You can expect a lesson from me every day for the next 6 days.
- Each lesson will end with 2-3 (very specific) action items.
- You are encouraged to work along with each lesson and complete these assignments.
- You’ll get a behind-the-scenes look at the confidence strategies of some of the biggest names in parenting and child development.
- You’ll also see their research findings (and practical results).
- But, most importantly, YOU will learn how to build your own girl’s confidence.
Ready to get going?
Let’s jump in!
In this first lesson I’m going to help you get INCREDIBLY clear on the exact reason you want to build her confidence, and then I’ll challenge you with a few actions items at the end.
Most people start trying to grow a girl’s confidence by having her try out a bunch of new activities or new social situations.
This is silly.
There is something more important than any activity or situation you set her up with.
You HAVE to be 100% clear on this before starting (or you’ll just end up feeling massively doubtful).
The thing you have to be clear on... “Why?”
Why do you want her to have confidence?
What would be measurably different in your life if tomorrow morning you woke up and she had the confidence to be anything she wanted?
So many people want build their daughter’s confidence.
We read blog posts. Listen to podcasts. Take courses. And buy books.
We hear things like “The success depends on her confidence” and get all gung ho about giving her a boost in confidence.
Yet no matter how much information we consume, it still seems impossible to build her confidence enough for her to do anything bold.
Say something here.
Speak up there.
6 months later she has eh, so-so-confidence.
But despite that massive frustration, there are some moms who know their girl’s have got it. There are some who watch their girl grow up to break through glass ceilings and make an incredible difference in the world.
Those people don’t start with strategies though.
They start by answering the question “Why?” first.
Take me, for example. I’m 44 years old. Grew up in rural CT. And up until the last day of my pregnancy I had NO CLUE how to take care of a little girl.
I spent years struggling.
The number of months I spent stuck are maaaannnny.
- Changing diapers.
- Giving her a bath.
- Breast feeding
- Sleep schedule
- Reading books
- Keeping house
- Making dinners with baby on hip
On and on and on…
Until one day I got so mad that I started researching what successful parents were doing that I wasn’t doing.
Women like Christiane Northrup, (Mother-Daughter Wisdom), Louise Hay, (Empowering Women), Iyanla Vanzant (Iyanla’s Fixin’s)
These were all women who, no matter how hard it got, they SUCCEEDED!
Foster a healthy body image? Strong, beautiful, resilient is the reflection she sees in the mirror.
Nurture her place in this world? Live her passion.
Face conflict? Overcome any challenge that gets in her way.
What were they doing that I wasn't!?
That’s when I discovered the POWER of connection.
The reason they were able to consistently do so well was that they had the ability to connect.
They were able to care less about the stack of dirty dishes in the sink and get on her level see her eye to eye.
And since their connection was so strong, they were able to get through the daily grind while keeping what mattered most in the forefront.
I decided to do the same thing.
My singular focus became building my connection with my daughter so that I could confidently let go and give her the power to step into her world.
5 months later I got to devote 24 hrs a day with her and created the space for an enduring close relationship (one that will last throughout her adolescent years).
Full story here
The framework I implemented can be use by anyone. If you want to start raising your girl’s confidence, take care of her needs, and be in a relationship that doesn't involve yelling and frustrating battles… focusing on growing your connection has to be your #1 priority.
This course will start down the path to doing just that.
Your homework for today is to identify your "What?" and your "Why?"
Without a clearly defined reason for starting down this path you will quit.
100% guarantee you will quit.
I've personally coached 100s of people and I've never seen a single one build a girl’s confidence and launch her into the world without a clearly defining reason for doing it.
IT. IS. HARD.
You'll hit obstacles. You'll want to quit. You'll think the entire pursuit isn't worth it.
But those that have a clearly defined reason for killing themselves to reach their goal...they make it. They keep working despite wanting to give up.
What is your #1 goal?
“For her to know how smart she is.”
“For her to have a strong belief of her value”
“For her to have more courage to make friends”
“For her to have more freedom to be who she is (without worrying about what others think)”
Why do you want that goal?
Do you want her to be able to stand up to the meany at school and start her own happier, kinder girl posse, spend time doing the things she loves and have the freedom to be all that she was born to be?
Do you want to her to be the next Georgia O’Keefe because your mom told you that you’d never succeed as an artist and you want to prove her wrong?
Do you want her to launch her own puppy sitting business because you know she loves dogs and would make a remarkable business owner?
Your assignment for today is....
1. Spend at least 10 minutes brainstorming your what and why
2. Fill in your answers in the Lesson 1 worksheet
In the next lesson, you'll learn how to know the exact moment she’s ready to step out into the world on her own and know with absolute confidence that she’ll be ok. I’ll also share several pitfalls to avoid as you work towards your goal.
If you've already grabbed the She’s Got This! Guide, you'll want to revisit the course sections "Why do you want her to have confidence" (Chapter 1) and "How do you build her confidence" (Chapter 2). These will help you with the next lesson.
Here's a recap of the class so far:
Lesson 1 - The very first step to building her confidence
Lesson 2 - How to know the exact moment she’s ready to step out into the world on her own
Lesson 3 - Behind the scenes of a rockin’ mother-daughter relationship
Lesson 4 - How to create a meaningful girl posse
Lesson 5 - Two examples of how to use the Conversational Hack strategy
Lesson 6 - The exact conversation starters you need to use to jump-start her confidence growth