AN UNTOLD STORY
I was on my lunch break, taking a walk. My breathing was labored and shallow. At nearly 7 months pregnant my body was no longer my own. The nausea subsided, but in its place, were swollen ankles, foggy fatigue, and heavy weighted steps. The legs that had carried me across the finish line of my first marathon less than a year prior could barely take me to the next corner.
I tried taking this whole slowing down thing in stride. I mean, how could I complain when so many of my friends, also pregnant with their firsts were over the moon with joy while other close friends drowned in their tears trying to make pregnancy their reality. I did the exact opposite of what I tell others to do. Rather than be gentle with myself, I beat myself up. I kept my feelings hidden and untold.
I was TERRIFIED of becoming a mom.
Quietly, I panicked.
Would I be able to keep her healthy, safe, and happy?
What if I make a mistake and it puts her at risk?
How will I know I'm always doing the right thing?
What if I can’t help her?
What if I just can't cope?
I turned to my mother for guidance, but as was typical, I faced the ache of needing more from her than what she was able to give.
Tears streamed down my face.
Silent suffering was my norm. Stuffing feelings down, pretending like nothing was wrong was my defense mechanism.
Guess what happened next?
Broken Open. Stopped in My Tracks. On My Knees. Lost.
I completely hit a roadblock.
My husband and a few friends did their best to keep my spirits up and going.
But without me being real, sorting through my fear of not knowing.
Actively seeking counsel. Heading to the mountains.
Calling up to the sky with questions.
Without ME everything I had zero clarity.
The same goes for the do-it-yourself formula-based approach I outlined in this series.
Eventually you WILL stop in your tracks.
You’ll get overwhelmed and stressed out so many times that you’ll want to give up.
You’ll try it and it won’t work for you.
Life will happen and you’ll get busy.
Or maybe you’ll do what Jennifer did and try yelling your advice over her tears of frustration.
Either way… the roadblock is coming.
Some interaction will happen with your girl that will cause you to not be able to have the conversation anymore.
What happens then?
What happens when you take YOU out of your relationship?
The roadblock. That’s what.
Back to my key takeaway after 14 years of being a mom and 20+ professional years working to improve people’s lives.
I hate the risk.
My goal for the past two decades has been to figure out how to build a girl’s confidence that didn’t rely on me always being there with her.
For me to give a girl the wings to fly, I needed her to be Momma-free.
She needed to be roadblock-free.
She need to NOT rely on me stepping in to take care of things.
With confidence, I can report that it’s working.
I now have two daughters and both have stepped into their worlds without ME being with them 24/7.
After much time and energy spent researching and consulting with experts, I’d found a framework I’d been searching for.
The framework I implemented can be applied to anyone who wants to start building a girl’s confidence, grow her social network, and be in relationship with her that doesn’t involve yelling and conversations that go nowhere.
In fact, over the past several years I’ve coached women across the country with girls of varying degrees of confidence do the same thing I have.
Here are just a few different girl mentors that this framework has been used with through my one on-one coaching program:
- Art Teachers - Stay-at-home moms - Counselors - Coaches - Grandmothers - Working-moms -
And so, I am here. Ready to help you shine brighter in her life than before so she can own her strengths, rise up, and be her own light.